• “Does this make my vagina look big?”
  • “Blah blah blah organized sports…”
  • “I kinda of want to break up with her, but I worry what it would do to our dog.”
  • “Kill, Marry, Bang? Aubrey Plaza, Evan Rachel Wood, @Brittenelle ?” “Bang all! Obvi.”
  • “I would never bang your Ex.” (<–always a lie.)
  • “She was your Ex? Oops.” (<— told you.)
  • “Is my wardrobe too lumber chic?”
  • “Do you think she’s gay?”
  • “Shane” As a Noun, Verb, Adverb, Pronoun, Proposition etc.
  • “Blah blah blah Orange is the New Black”
  • While “liking” some IG babes pic “I will “like” her right in the pussy.”
  • “So I met this girl on HER…”
  • “So I met this girl on HER while at the bar…”
  • “She’s just different from all the other girls I’ve masturbated to on Tumblr”
  • “We’re going on a road trip to celebrate our 5 week anniversary.”
  • “Sometimes when you meet a girl in the bar you just know…you should propose.”
  • “So what if I’ve been engaged as many times as Ruby Rose?!”
  • “We broke up, but we’re still totally friends.”
  • “We’re just friends I swear! No feelings at all.”
  • “Sooooo…I slept with my Ex.
  • “I miss her. *sniff sniff* ”
  • “Let’s save a stray kitten together?”
  • “Guess what? We’re moving in together.”
  • “Think she would mind if I dated her Ex?”
  • “Hummus!”
  • “Is this pussy Organic?”
  • “Vegan. As in I only eat pussy.”
  • “How did I miss Demi Lavato is Bi?? ”
  • “No you can’t watch…Unless I post it on Tumblr”
  • “Pass the diva cup.”
  • “I’m thinking of trying out roller derby.”
  • “Why would I be jealous? We broke up 2 years ago.”
  • “My Ex is crazy!”
  • “I don’t think texting 26 times with no response is excessive, do you?”
  • “I’m doing raw food this month”
  • “Type? I don’t have a type…”
  • “Oh that girl, I’ve made out with her.”
  • “I only date people with cats”
  • “I think we need to talk…”
  • To GF: “I wore your shirt, and denim shorts, and underwear… that’s ok right”
  • “Should we name our kids after our favourite cats?”
  • “Not that Ashley, the other one.”
  • “Androgynous.”
  • “I didn’t shave.”
  • “Is this mullet too Joe Dirt to be edgy?”
  • “What. Is. She. Doing. Here?”
  • “I need more random doodle tattoo’s?”
  • “She’s got skin like an etch-a-sketch”

Image: Effort-Lez personal collection. Right to left Rachael, @jaimooooo & @effort.lez.

 

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About The Author

Founder and Editor-in-chief at Effort-Lez. Writer, comedian and career lesbian. Interests include, but are not limited to: Kanye West's Fade video, drinking wine & making out (while watching Kanye West's Fade video), cerebral hoarding, three point stands and laughing myself into quadriplegia.

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