There is nothing like a little unconformity and difference to add to lifes’ bouquet of awkward moments. What happens when you mix one part lesbian with one part conservative society and add a splash of self-consciousness? A lot of awkward shit, that’s what! Just see below for a few examples from my life and those of my “friends”. (wink wink)

  • Sometimes my Dad and I check out the same girls.
  • Getting turned on during a bra fitting.
  • When your doctor does the manual exam, and you feel like she should have bought you a drink.
  • When during a massage you accidentally graze the masseuses boob and pray she doesn’t think you were trying to signal for a “Happy Ending”.
  • When you come out and all your friends ask you if you think they’re hot.
  • When your straight friends comment on the way you eat a hotdog.
  • When you and your girlfriend are visiting your grandma with Alzeimers and she keeps asking over and over again if you have boyfriends.
  • When introducing your partner to your boss and she asks later if that was your sister. :/
  • When you accidentally get turned on by a picture a Pherrell thinking its OITNB’s Poussey.
  • When you come out to your fun aunt and she tells you about the lesbian experience she once had.
  • When you happen to laugh about something right after your girlfriends mom asks if any of her kids are ever going to give her grandchildren and proceeds to think for months you and her daughter are trying to get pregnant.
  • When your friend breastfeeds in front of you and you can’t look at her because you don’t want her to think you are lesbianing’ her boobs.
  • When your Grandma see a rainbow flag in your room and asks which country its for.
  • When you are out with your girlfriend and a guy hits on you and asks if she’s your little brother.
  • When a kid in a grocery store points at you and asks their mom if you are a boy or a girl.

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About The Author

Founder and Editor-in-chief at Effort-Lez. Writer, comedian and career lesbian. Interests include, but are not limited to: Kanye West's Fade video, drinking wine & making out (while watching Kanye West's Fade video), cerebral hoarding, three point stands and laughing myself into quadriplegia.

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