Ever have one of those days?? Where you feel like you just can’t win. Maybe it was the new Adele song that set you back. Maybe your undercut is just taking way too long to grow back in. Whatever has got you down my Luvah, won’t be keeping you there long! Here is the our fool proof list of lesbian life hacks, designed to have you feeling like you are Beyonce level winning at life in no time. Cause well….everyone loves #Winning, and we love you Effort-Lezzies!
- You know that shelf you’ve been wanting to hang for months? Use a magnet to find nails and wall studs. (NB magnets have not been proven to help locate stud lesbians.)
- Feeling a grilled cheese at the office. Turn the toaster sideways to keep all that yummy cheesy goodness inside.
- Been sleeping at your new girlfriends place for weeks? Eggs can last up to 3 weeks past their expiration date. Submerge them in water to find out if you can treat yourself to a welcome home breakfast omelette. If they sink you are in luck if they float you’ll have to eat out. (pun always intended)
- When uhauling, take a picture of your electronics all set up before you take them apart. This way when you get your Baes new place you’ll not only know how to set them up but you’ll impress your new Bae and avoid your first “Ikea fight”.
- Save those fingers when hammering Baybays! Use a close pin to hold the nail in place instead of forefinger and thumb. No project is worth running your dominant hand.
- When out on the town meeting girls, if you suspect someone is giving you a fake number, read it back to them wrong. If they correct you, proceed to make plans to go down on them immediately. If they don’t correct you, introduce them to your crazy Ex.
- The new love of your life is vegan and gluten free. YOU are not even sure what that means?!? Where in the world can you take her for dinner? Easy! Go with some asian fare. Not only is most asian food dairy free, but rice is also gluten free. Our friends in the east are also very fond of a tofu – a great vegetarian meat substitute.
- You are at a concert, talking up this captivating cutie with a fade to write home about. Only one problem! You aren’t sure if she might have dated your ex, or roommate, or exes ex, maybe even possibly sluty andro brother. What to do? This is the new millennium people! Get her number and handles and creep her like it’s your job, before you proceed to the first date. Creeping isn’t the stalking of the old days, its the behaviour of a responsible Millenial. Just as you couldn’t go out before doing your homework as a kid, it’s not safe to now either!
Have any life hacks you’d like to share with us? Go on girl! Post them below!