I kissed I scissored and I liked it! Ok ok let me rewind a minute. I have been a lesbian now for well…my whole life. (If you don’t count a high school boyfriend or two) As you can imagine like many of you (actually more like probably every last one of you lezzies, lets be real.) I have been fielding questions on scissoring since what feels like the dawn of time. I kid you not I even have a handshake with a male friend that consists of us spreading apart our middle and index fingers and joining them together for a quick rub in celebration when we see each other. I have used the hashtag #ScissorSisters, joked at length about the phenomenon, drawn scissors on bar napkins, brought my own pair to parties yet never actually done the deed. I know. *gasp*

Like what kind of lesbian could I be NOT having even drunkenly attempted this manoeuvre EVEN just once. (IFFFF this did happen before and in a wine blurred university moment my apologies to the scissor) Scissoring in the lesbian community is kind of a big joke. It’s something heteros assume is our “Primary” sex act. However it’s something most lesbians just laugh off. As much general consensus is…it’s hard to get off. (catch the rhyme there? You’re welcome.) So what’s the real story? Well not a single lesbian I know would answer my scissor inquiries seriously. Either they are all scissor shy, have social scissor complex or the whole concept is a hetero urban legend. Either way I’m just at the point in my life where I need to know.

In my crafty quest to learn the “e-true lesbian hollywood scissor story” I employed a variety of research tools.

  1. Polls: I asked my lesbo friends. Who are well…. not very helpful assholes.
  2. The internet: I googled it. That’s right my search history is now awesome.
  3. Field Research: I….did the deed. Sometimes the best and only way to really know is to just DIY.

That’s right. I SCISSORED and well… I LIKED IT. (If you are reading this GrandPa, we are talking about a scrapbooking technique) I know what you folks are thinking… “Awesome!”
“Lesbians actually scissor?!” “What a waste of time” “You liked it?… LIAR!” and “I’m so trying this on the  weekend”.

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I mean the truth of the matter is leading up to it, my girlfriend and I thought it was a big joke. We joked that it was on our list of things to try. That we would “someday”. I told Kate if we ever did that I would of course for journalistic purposes have to report on it. So I pretty much figured it would never happen. Then it did. She went for it, and well…suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. It was incredibly sexy and intimate?!? I was just as shocked as you are. I went in with ZERO expectations but must admit very pleasantly surprised. While this isn’t something I think is a “get you home” kinda move. It’s a solid addition to your portfolio and worth writing home about. Wait that sounds weird…Let me be more specific – worth writing home to your FRIENDS about. There is no need to keep scissoring a secret it’s not water sports or a crush on your elderly neighbour. It’s another great way to share an intimate experience with your partner annnnnd depending on how flexible you can even be face to face while both enjoying yourselves. I Natash 100% recommended and endorse this product practice.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and cut a rug. OOOhhhhhh even that joke was a little too much for me.


Featured Image: Flikr Troy Morris

GIF: Giphy.com

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About The Author

Founder and Editor-in-chief at Effort-Lez. Writer, comedian and career lesbian. Interests include, but are not limited to: Kanye West's Fade video, drinking wine & making out (while watching Kanye West's Fade video), cerebral hoarding, three point stands and laughing myself into quadriplegia.

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2 Responses

  1. Emily Skye

    Ha – brilliant. A very worthwhile and generous experiment on behalf of us all – thank you! I agree, btw – it gets bad press. In fact who cares what people think we do, or ought to do, or what we think we do or don’t do, if it feels good to all involved, then that’s great and if it doesn’t then try moving ever so slightly, ever so slowly (it might even ‘get you home’) – grin.

    • Natash

      Well thank you so much! I do it for my people what can I say!! Hahahaha well said Emily!! xx